1 + 1 = 1?

I don't quite know what you'd call it, but according to those around me, I've broken up with Tom. Now I'm free to pursue things with Harmony and I'm rather excited for it. However, my mind has been wondering.

What does it mean to be dating? This question was posed to me by a good friend just recently, and at the time I thought I knew the answer pretty well. Both Tom and Harmony have proven otherwise, seeing as I don't quite see our relationships fitting the criteria which I had given to my friend previously.

As I've pondered on this matter it's come to me that maybe the relationships with these two girls are more like "dating" than what my views actually are and my views are actually what dating the right person evolves to.

To Every Season, Turn . . . Turn . . . Turn . . .

Sounding boards are amazing things. They don't have to do anything but act like their interested in what you have to say and great things often come from it. Well, last night I was able to use two of the Three Angels as souding boards. As I explained to them my dilema it became rather obvious to myself how dumb I really had been. (This is not to say that I'm not being dumb, but it is to say that I don't currently realize it.)

Having a relationship with Tom would not be a bad thing, infact I've been encouraged to do so by a number of people, nobody but myself has thought of doing otherwise, untill I brought up Harmony. Apparently no matter how many guys may be after her or how busy she might be I'm still supposed to pursue her. Tom and I didn't match, Harmony and I would win the cutest couple award in any competition. (At least that is what the Angels would have me believe.)

In other words, whatever might have been growing between Tom and myself, I need to drop it back down to the level of a good friendship and, though it's been a long time, I'm being called a heart breaker once again.

Dirty Little Secret

Things with Tom have gone in the completely opposit direction from where I'd expected them to go. In fact pretty much everything has gone in the completely opposit direction from where I'd expected them to go.

My date with Mallow went very well. Now my schedule and her's won't seem to match up for me to ask her out on a second date. Harmony is being chased by so many guys that even if I were able to get some time with her she'd be too distracted to really BE there with me. I'll be much better off just waiting till the summer when she's not so busy with work, school, other guys, and everything else that life throws at her. ALBC doesn't seem to be as interested as she once was.

As for Tom. We've been spending a lot of time together and even though I might not be looking for a relationship, she is. I'm not opposed to the idea, it simply not something that I'm really looking for right now.

So let me pose a question. If I don't hope for a relationship, don't try for a relationship, don't plan on having a relationship, but still end up in one, does that mean I'm settling?

Ok, now here is a controversial question. She's not the kind of girl I want to marry. She doesn't have any bad attributes, but she lacks some of the attributes that I highly value. Thus it's pretty easy to say that this relationship wouldn't last. Most likely it would end when she goes off to Chicago for the summer, if not sooner. (Which would free me up to have another go with Harmony.) Even knowing that the realationship is going to end, should I still be willing to give it a try? Would it make a difference if she also viewed this relationship as having an inevitable end?

Past Date, Update, No Dates

Legolas, Regan, and I got together and decided that we needed to do more, so rules where set up. The dating minimum for the month is three. If any one of us does not go on three dates before the end of the month they owe a large pizza to the other two. Any first kiss with a girl results in a full quart of ice cream for the other two. Any relationship of boyfriend & girlfriend results in a large pizza for the guy.

With this all in mind we've been working at getting (not giving) pizza, and giving ice cream. Thus far, we're all pretty hungry due to the lack of all the above.

As for how things are going; Mallow was a great date and I have good hopes for a second to come soon. Harmony and I are getting along very well and infact had a good roadtrip together, but then again she gets along very well with all guys, so I'm still not quite sure if she's interested in me or not. A Little Bit Country is still in question (I've been busy working on the others to single time out with her.) Tom is still a problem, I haven't been doing well with the whole "Don't lead her on." matter. Unfortunatly to compensate I've been trying to give attention to ALBC in Tom's presance just to let Tom know that she isn't getting special treatment. I'm a jerk, I know this, I'm working on overcoming that weakness but it is going to be a long and difficult trail :(