Serving 4 to Zero.
Maybe I can give a little more information about my relationship with Hail Marry. We are actually going on our fourth date this weekend. Yes, our FOURTH. (Mind you that the first two where a couple of months ago.)
I go over to her apartment often and we can talk for hours (we have talked for hours.) I invite her over to watch movies and what ever else I might come up with. Now how do I get the ball over to her court?
posted by Jimmy @ 10:43 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
You don't. At least, in my opinion, if you want to keep control of the game you don't. If you want to let her take a swing, and see where you land, be honest.
Every one is different which is what makes this game so difficult. My rule is that once a guy has taken me out twice and I am interested in seeing it continue, it is my turn to ask him to do something or leave something for him that will make him smile.
Hang in there if you like her. She may not know that she needs to pick up the ball and serve it back.
although honesty is key in a relationship (especially in a new one) its not what helps you in the art of attracting the other person. lets be plain here. if a girl asks you how she looks and you-in good intention-hesitate, only to follow with something like, "well...yesterday you looked good" yeah, not too smooth.
what about emotional honesty?
ok. lets say you decide to expose your secret crush and let her know exactly how you feel. now the game is not only over, but youve also given her a reason to lose interest and even leave you at any time should she become aware of a mr sexypants who isnt/wasnt such an easy catch. its all about the challenge...
i think effective communication is only effective when interest is mutual...until then, play it by ear. the communication you need to be worrying about is body language and eye contact.
whatever you feel like you should say or do, should be based off of how she looks at you and physically shows interest or the lack thereof.
example: if she pats you on the back and says, "hey buddy!" dont think of it as an invitation to a makeout session.
example #2: if youve called her once, left a message, and then called her again to leave another message without any form of response, chances are shes hanging out with mr sexypants, so give it up cause youve lost or be conferred the title of "freaky stalker."
example #3: if she makes subtle attempts to touch your shoulder, back, or arms, then and ONLY then can you reciprocate accordingly...but ONLY then. once youve been given the ok on flirtatious activity, dont be afraid to attempt a few light taps of your own. if you pretend like nothing happened, shell be intrigued and want to play some more.
my work here is done :)
SN, I can honestly say that reading your comment here is the first time I've actually thought you an idiot. Maybe it's because I'm irritated by the implications of your words as they may or may not involve me. I agree with only one thing you said there... Your work is indeed done.
It depends on what you mean by getting "the ball over to her court..."
If you mean that you want to wait to show anything until you know how she feels about you, I have the answer:
It's simple... YOU DON'T WAIT.
That's a pansy way to go about things. I know, because that's what I always do. I'm hardly ever as aggressive as I need to be in the same situation, and I don't express anything until I know there's no risk.
The flaw: the risk is indicitive of the reward.
Compare it to a savings account vs. the stock market if you want. Savings account? Low risk, low reward. Stock market? High risk, high reward.
Just get it out, you'll feel better.
Like a football team that's down three in the final seconds and isn't close enough to kick a field goal and has nothing to lose...
What do they do?
They throw a Hail Mary.
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